Monday, April 16, 2012

Step two...now here comes the hard part. Designing a "plan".

At this point, I had lost about 7# just doing Weight Watchers alone. But I really wanted to carve up a nice figure. While at Meijer's one afternoon, I was down the Exercise aisle shopping for some dumbbells and I ran across the Jillian Michaels' DVD's.

"Killer Buns and Thighs," I mused, imagining my own buns and thighs "so tight I could bounce a quarter off them".

$9.95 and off to home we went.

At first, I was kind of skeptical. And a little nervous. When I initially set forth with my "plan", I just kind of...well...didn't really put a whole lot of thought into it, to be quite honest. I already had a set of resistance bands at home to help stretch and "tone" sore muscles, and I had a yoga mat for the aforementioned reason, but aside from a few pieces of dusty equipment...?

I had nothin'.

After I got home and put away all my new Weight Watchers appropriate food, I settled down on the couch, (we're taking this in baby-steps, okay? Milestones? Remember from our first conversation?), and proceeded to check out what I, (vainly and stupidly), thought would be "a walk in the park".

About 120 minutes later, I learned that Jillian's three levels of "booty-burning work-outs" are no joke.

So the next day, I decided to give Level One a whirl. I spent about 20 minutes spinning up a storm on my bike, then immediately pressed "play" on the DVD player that I had already set up. And Jillian put me through my paces. Squat-lunge combo-what?? Sumo squat with calf-raises AND plyo hops?? By the time I got to the donkey kicks and cross-over lunges, I was sweating buckets. Talk about total destruction! And about 37 minutes later, (give or take), my thighs were shaking, and my butt honestly felt like someone had taken a hatchet and bisected each cheek in two.

SUCCESS!!!

I was so excited--Day One of Operation Smack-That at Home has commenced with a bang! With the wild and reckless abandon that only the "exercise masochistic" can possess, I made immediate plans to "press play and repeat" for the next day.

Did I mention that I'm a nurse and that I'm pretty much on my feet all night?

So my first night at work, I was on Cloud Nine. I felt great, my butt and legs were pleasantly screaming protests as I tried to sit to pee, and I was thinking that my afternoon wake-up work-out was going to yield the same euphoric feeling of bun-sculpting elation that I was experiencing that very night. After my shift ended, I carefully crawled into my truck the next morning, thoroughly enjoying my painful feeling of after-burn, and drove home to my bed.

And upon waking at 3PM that afternoon?

I could barely MOVE!!! My legs and ass were so stiff, I felt like I had developed contractures while sleeping. Getting out of my bed to pee was torture, and after trying to stay positive about "after my afternoon coffee, I'll feel tons better", the only thing I could remotely contemplate doing was trying to spin out the soreness on my bike.

That lasted about 2.37 minutes. The ripping sensation as my legs went round and round was more than anyone could stand, and by that I mean the lactic acid wringing its way out of the largest muscles in my body actually was making me sick to my stomach. Best laid plans gone to waste for that afternoon.

Luckily, I didn't have to work that night, so after taking some Advil, and chilling on the couch, (baby steps), I decided to pull out my Mari Winsor DVD to see if that would help "stretch things out". And boy did it ever--stretched me right out my own level of consciousness! "Tweeze your buttocks together!"

Helps if your buttocks hadn't already been plucked right off your backside the day before.

But after  50 minutes of Mari, I did feel better. Not a big calorie burn, but I was able to go pee without having to consider my ability to aim, as before I couldn't sit completely on the stool.

So Days 1 and 2...pretty eventful, but I really felt like I noticed a huge difference in my body. And my gas tank, as I saved myself about 28 miles of driving. Next up...keeping up my motivation, (and my attention span).

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